Stuck in a rut? 6 Mindset Shifts that Worked for Me

Have you ever struggled with getting things done? Or have you ever felt stuck in life? That's what I've been wrestling with.

Last year, I took a break from blogging. I wanted to try and get my life back in order after starting a homestead from scratch.

But then I fell into a rut.

I missed writing and wanted to get back into blogging but it had been over a year since I last posted. And, although I've wanted to publish, the annoying critic inside my head kept giving me reasons why I couldn't:

• "No one cares about what you have to say."
• "Why add more noise to the internet?"
• "Who are you to think your words matter?"

I was stuck in a thinking trap!

According to Imogen Clifford, Assistant Psychologist, Bristol CBT Clinic, it's often our negative thoughts that keep us in our rut. He calls them "thinking traps", and they prevent us from seeing a different perspective.

So, if you're also caught in a "thinking trap", here are the different mindset shifts that helped me break free from my rut and get back to blogging.

*I'm not a therapist but I thought if these small steps helped me, maybe they could help you too.

Jump to:

• #1 - Permission Is a Waiting Room: Skip It!
• #2 - The Power of Purpose
• #3 - It's NOT "good enough"
• #4 - You actually can't fail
• #5 - Don't underestimate the power of social support
• #6 - Move Forward
• Key Takeaway

#1 - Permission Is a Waiting Room: Skip It!

It all started with a chance email from The Fioneers (a blog about the financial independence movement). She confessed to feeling stuck. She stayed in the same job for years until she finally burned out simply because she was waiting for "something" to push her or "someone" to give her permission to change.

That's when it hit me - one of the reasons I was feeling stuck was because I was waiting for permission.

But why was I waiting for permission to write on my own blog? Sure, it's been a while since I posted but who says I can't start publishing again just because I want to?

I've never considered myself someone who needed permission to make a change. I've certainly never needed anyone to tell me it was ok to enjoy a second helping of dessert, learn a new skill, or even start this blog. But I've recently discovered that, in other areas of my life, I let time pass while I wait for someone else's nod of approval.

In the Fioneers email, she shared an example of a client who was considering a move to a new city, but she was feeling stuck.

Only with the Fioneer's encouragement did she finally allow herself to move to upstate New York. Since then she has been able to experiment with different hobbies and focus on what she truly loves.

She's become a dog foster mom for the first time, started going on best friend trips, and learned to can pizza sauce, chicken stock, and blueberry jam. She has even started waking up early and doing yoga.

She radically changed her life in under a year by permitting herself to do what she wanted.

So, if you've been waiting for permission, here's what the Fioneers told me in that email - "You don't need an excuse!!! You don't need permission to get out of your comfort zone and try new things. You can do something different simply because you want to."

You don't need permission to…

• pursue new skills and passions
• learn a new language
• take a weekend getaway
• start a blog or YouTube channel to share your knowledge or experiences
• start a new job or explore different career paths
• eat better, exercise, or improve your mental health
• make a difference in the world
• change any aspect of your life for the better

"Always remember that you never have to ask for permission to shine. You have a right to shine simply because you exist." Nelson Mandela

Put it into practice - Make a bucket list

What have you been holding back on? A dream? A goal? A passion? Grab a piece of paper and set a timer for 5 minutes. Start making a bucket list of all the things you've dreamt of doing, creating, or starting. Now, hold onto this list for the next step.

#2 - The Power of Purpose

The second step that helped me get unstuck was thinking about "why" I wanted to write in the first place. Why did I really want to do this? What is so meaningful to me about posting articles?

"The trick is to be able to create that sense of meaning, the feeling that there is a rightness to what you're doing every moment of the day," says Phil Stutz in his excellent book "Lessons for Living". "This gives you an inexhaustible source of will that doesn't need stress to trigger it and won't quit if you don't immediately get the results you want."

You may want to choose a different pursuit if you don't have a strong "why" for your actions. As hokey as this may sound, I feel most fulfilled and satisfied doing activities that resonate with my purpose and core values.

Writing here has been a way for me to process my thoughts, it's been my creative outlet and it has given me a sense of purpose and meaning outside of the day-to-day routine of being a stay-at-home mom and homesteader (ie: feeding kids and animals, folding laundry and making meals). I have discovered that I really do need to create to feel satisfied at the end of the day.

Put it into practice - Keep asking why

Look at the bucket list you wrote in the first step. Now, ask yourself, what is the REAL reason you want to tick off those items?

Don't just stop at the surface level - keep digging deeper. Keep asking yourself "why" again and again, until you uncover the true reason you want to tackle that item.

It's this 'why' that's going to keep you going along your journey. So, make a conscious choice only to chase the goals backed by a powerful 'why'.

#3 - It's NOT "good enough"

The next step that helped me get out of my rut is to realize that good enough is not always "good enough". For example, is there something you've been wanting to do but you think your situation is "not really that bad"? You can live with things just as they are? This is another thinking trap! I could have easily convinced myself that life was fine without writing but it would have been a lie.

For example:

Maybe you've been wanting to sell your home in the city and start a homestead in the country but you find yourself thinking that "really...your life is fine as it is."

Reality check: You go for it, homesteader! Life is too short. You should focus on the things you truly love and bring you joy.

OR

Maybe you dream of running a 5K in the next year but you've never exercised in your life and you can't imagine what the neighbors would think if they saw you jogging.

Reality check: No one who tries to better their health is a loser. Strap on some footwear and go rock around the neighborhood. This is your life and your precious health.

OR

Maybe you've dreamed of traveling the world but held back because you don't have a partner to go with you.

Reality check: Book that solo trip to Europe! This could be the start of an exciting adventure that will completely transform your life. You don't need perfect circumstances to pursue your dreams.

Put it into practice

Ask yourself:

What will my life look like in 5 or 10 years if I keep doing what I'm doing today? How do you feel about that?

What will my life look like in 5 or 10 years if I make a change and pursue one of the items on my bucket list? How do you feel about that?

#4 - You actually can't fail

Fear of failure or fear of the worst-case scenario is an excuse that stops me and I'm assuming a lot of other people from making positive changes.

But are you really a failure if you took action on something you wanted to do and it didn't work out? I don't think so.

All we can control in life are our actions - not the outcome. So, be willing to take a risk and make a change. You really can't fail.

#5 - Don't underestimate the power of social support

If you're feeling stuck or struggling with motivation, the last thing you want to do is keep it to yourself. Discussing how I felt with a family member or friend made me realize: I'm not the only one who feels this way! It's a common experience.

Don't you feel better knowing you're not alone?

#6 - Move Forward

What finally got me out of my rut was taking that first step. The key is to start with something small, something tiny.

To begin, I opened up my blog and looked at my stats. I saw they hadn't gone down much since being away. The next day I wrote a few words and several weeks later I finally had a post. Baby steps.

Put it into practice - Make an Action Plan

"What's the next smallest step you could take towards any of the items on your bucket list?

Key Takeaway

I may be the only person who reads this post and there's a chance everyone unsubscribes due to my long absence from the blogging world. But none of that matters. I'm writing because I want to. I feel like a weight has been lifted and I'm excited about the future.

So, if you've been feeling stuck or if you're waiting to make a change, I hope you consider this blog as your sign to get started.

You don't need permission to follow your heart. Because you want to is good enough.

PS. Please seek professional help if needed. A therapist can help you uncover the root cause of your feelings. Getting help isn't a sign of weakness-it's a necessary step towards a better life.

PIN IT FOR LATER!

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